Four Teeth Lighter

So they ripped my teeth out on Tuesday....
I would be fine except for the fact that half my face is swollen. Like puffy fish face swollen.

Only half my face smiles and half my face talks, the other half just lies there.

Today is day 1 of our reunion festivities.
frick





Oh yeah and happy birthday B...

Keeping Pace

Friday the plumber came to inspect our piping... and no, this isn't the beginning of a porno.

I guess there was a lawsuit and if you received a letter than you had the option of having your pipes inspected and potentially replaced. We got the letter, so we figured, why not and called.
He explained that the pipes end up corroding and bursting and causing immense damage so it's best to have them replaced. So now we're scheduled for the end of August to have our entire house re-piped.
He said it would be an extremely invasive process but they will make it as fast as possible... Invasive? Really? Tearing apart our kitchen, bathrooms and laundry isn't invasive, is it?
Right now, we have green dots all over our house for areas they'll have to replace and I'm stuck wondering how in the world are we going to keep these dots where they need to be? I have a curious trouble making baby and 3 over excited kids in my house on a regular basis. Why couldn't they use a sharpie????

Less than 2 days until I get my teeth yanked out... I don't know how I feel about this and I've heard mixed things. Apparently I'll be in pain on the third day and I'll be off balance and unable to use a straw for a while.

To make this more fun, my ten year high school reunion weekend is four days after my surgery. I'm planning super cute outfits so no one will notice my swollen puffy face.
I can't wait to wear my new skirt!!
Oh and I am also excited to see old high school friends, too. 

My love's 45th birthday is coming up this weekend, too and we will do a small little "Yay, you're old" but the weekend after is when we'll do the big hoopla party and really celebrate! I can't wait to give him his gift. I really hope he likes it... and if he doesn't then he can go stomp turtles.

To make life a little more interesting, my sister's marketing class has assigned the project of creating a website for a business and then promoting it. Somehow I've been roped into making this business our photography business. I'm terrified! I am actually going to be shooting for other people and not just for myself. Oh vomit!
I'm excited, don't get me wrong but I am so scared no one will like what I do or all those other little negative things that niggle at my mind.
I shot at Mt. Charleston yesterday which was so much fun (and way cooler than the city). The pics came out okay but nothing note-worthy. It was more of "get behind the camera and shoot" then actually shooting specifically for anything.

I miss all of our random weekend travels. Now that Chunko's getting older we'll be able to go places more often and I cannot wait.
The dry lake beds, ghost towns and the mountains are all calling me.

I have found 3 "Trash the dress" sites that I cannot wait to shoot at!!!
I tried on my wedding dress on Friday and I can get zipped up but I still have about 10 more pounds before I will be seen in public with it on. Which about how much I've gained in the past month so it's not as scary as I thought.

Sleep Test: 3-6

The past several nights, Chunko has been going to sleep without the screaming and the attempts to open the door and escape. He cries for a few minutes to let us know that he's not ready to go to sleep and then passes out.

The other night, to test a theory, we laid him on the bed, tucked him in, and then I laid on the floor next to the bed. I didn't touch him or hold his hand like I was dying to, just was letting him know he wasn't alone. He went straight to sleep, no fuss, and no escaping.

 Unfortunately this was also the same night that Chunko fell and split his gums with his bottom teeth. Sounds pretty, doesn't it? He was in a lot of pain and he fussed off and on the entire night. I ended up giving in at 2am and letting him cuddle. 

My love hasn't had too many issues getting Chunko to sleep through the night and alone. He's ready for the next step. I, on the other hand, am not. I am traumatized and I want my lil baby back in his crib. My desperation to have my baby back is in a war against my need for a solid night's sleep.
I think Chunko can sense how much this bugs me because he's keeps trying to sneak next to me. He slithers off the bed, an inch at a time, until he's in my arms.

Last night went pretty good and I think we're making great improvement, but I also think we're not ready to leave him alone completely. I think if we have another successful week, then we can move out to the loft or use the monitor but not yet.

In the mornings when it is time to get ready for our day, Chunko and I leave the boys room and stagger to our room. He's so cute because he's sleep crying and stumbling but he remembers to close the door on his way out.

I miss sleeping next to my love... But I really like sleeping a solid 6 hours.

If I ran into my teen self, she'd smack me for saying that.

Sleep Test: 2

I think we lost the battle of Night 2.
It's not really our faults, I blame Geeks.

We got Chunko to sleep after him fussing for only five minutes, which was ah-mazing!
Then we scurried Geeks into the room to lay him down next to Chunko.
We told him what a big boy he was and how he was such a helpful big brother... As we're tip-toeing out of the room, Geeks asks if we can keep the door open...

Oh, did the sleep deprived parents forget the one important part of their plan????
Geeks is terrified of the dark.
Frick!

I promise to open the door as soon as Chunko is sound asleep and assure Geeks there is nothing to fear since his baby brother was there with him. He sniffled an "okay" but as soon as the door closed he shrieked/ wailed in terror and that was the end of it.

Chunko was freaked out, Geeks was freaked out and we were stressed...
I snuggled Chunko to calm him down and actually got him to stay asleep so I could sneak out for a breather. I jerry-rigged a pillow and warm blanket to imitate our bodies so we could try to figure a new plan.

My super awesome husband took the first night and slept on the floor next to Chunko's mattress. Chunko slept through and only fussed slightly. He kept sneaking over to try to drape himself across my love's chest but for the most part stayed where he belonged.

We're going to alternate nights (so tonight is mine) and see if we can get him used to being in the room, sleeping through the night and sleeping alone (since Geeks is a butt-head <---- but you didn't you hear that from me).

Last night was a slight setback but we are determined to get this kid sleep trained... We need sleep!!!!



PS, duct taping him to the mattress failed miserably but thank you to whomever suggested it

Sleep Test: 1

^ If she was drooling that would so be me right now.

Last night was the first night our "Operation: Sleep Through the Night" test.

We put a mattress on the floor on Geeks' room and baby proofed it.

I was taping couch cushions to the stairs of Geeks' bunk bed when Chunko came over and ripped the tape off easier than I had put it there. Then he walked away. It was his way of saying "We both know this won't stop me if I don't want it to."
Thank you, Chunko. We are very much aware how fruitless baby proofing is.

Bedtime approached all too quickly (since we were terrified worried concerned how this was going to go) and soon the hour was upon us. We put Chunko in bed and kept talking up what a big boy he was but he was having none of it. So it turned from "happy bedtime cheer" to "quick drop him on the bed and run" real fast.

He fussed more than usual (it was a strange room) but he was still down before our 15 minute mark of no return.

*side note* That kid is ridiculously strong. At one point he was tugging on the door (cause we can't lock Geek's bedroom door and a gate was pointless) and I was holding the other side and he managed to open it a crack a few times. My arm hurts so bad this morning from all his tugging. *side note*

He fell asleep all cute-like with his bum on the mattress and his head on the floor. I was told I couldn't take a picture of it because that would wake him.

45 minutes later, though, he was up and mad. We waited the 15 minutes to see if he would calm and he wasn't going back down without a fight. I gave in and ended up lying down with him to cuddle and soothe him. He would fall asleep and do the sweet, deep sigh that lets you know babies are asleep but as soon as I moved he was right back up.

I gave up. I was either going to leave him crying or I was going to be sleeping with him. I dashed from the room and shut the door. My step girl stepped in and got him to sleep. She cuddled him to sleep and stayed with him all night. He would sleep and then fuss, sleep and then fuss.

He didn't really want sister but he was going to take what he was given.

I've realized we need to find what the problem is before we can find a solution to our sleepless nights.
Is he waking up hungry, scared or just in search of a body?
So last night was a test to see if any body would do or if it had to be us. We were also checking to see if it was our bed he felt he needed or did it matter?

We have learned that any body (as long as it is warm) will be ok and as long as he has that, he's okay with his mattress.
He slept for five hours straight before waking.
Yay!!!!!!!!!!

Tonight's test will be to see if Geeks can cuddle him or does it have to be an adult person.
(not that I believe my step girl is an adult but she's so tall that she can trick the baby into thinking she's one).
(not that it matters, but I feel it's important to know)
(five hours isn't much when you haven't slept well in weeks)
(did I mention I had a cold?)
(I'm hungry)

Sleep is OverRated

We finally gave in and tried letting Chunko cry himself to sleep. We never waited more than 10 minutes and he usually went right to sleep... We still weren't sleeping through the night though because when he woke up, he would refuse to lay back down (and stay down).
We are all a little frustrated with each other.
We've been battling this for over a week now but I think Chunko has officially won this war.

My beautiful, intelligent, wise crackin baby boy has learned to jump his crib.
So now, if we don't immediately jump to his rescue and hurry him off to sleep comfortably in our bed, he jumps out of his crib (with a loud sickening thud) and will come tell us how mad he is.

I need sleeeeppppzzzzzzzz....

Huh? What? Oh I was talking, wasn't I? Okay...

I feel asleep on the toilet at my mother-in-law's last night. I don't even think I had to go potty, I just wanted a minute, alone, to myself. But then I fell asleep and it was long enough that she knocked on the door to check on me... Yep, color me embarrassed.

We are on the verge of desperation. Or is it deprivation? Or declaration?
Well, pick one of those, and we'll be on the verge of it.

We've thought about getting a crib tent to trap his sneaky butt in but to spend $70 just to have Chunko rip it down like a bad Godzilla movie just doesn't seem worth it. And he would, too. He would wait a week to figure out the inner workings and then tear into it late one night after luring us to sleep with a false sense of "we won the sleep fight!"

It's been suggested that we put him in his own room, baby proof it and then shut the door... Actually they suggested a gate but our gate is currently in the trash from it's last fight with Chunko (the gate lost). We're going to try that this week.

If we do not succeed or get anywhere with it, then I'm assuming we've lost... The aliens have taken over the world and we are all doomed... We'll be co-sleepers and just pray he gets sick of us eventually.

Is it bad, that I've been debating planting Chunko in with Geeks and making him suffer the sleep tornado that Chunko is? They both want a warm body to sleep next to and they both kick, fight, twist and turn so it would be fair, right????

To make my lack of sleep worse, I'm not losing any weight. I'm stuck and admittedly I gained three pounds. I am exercising and actually eating right but I am ALWAYS hungry. Even more hungry than I was when I was starving myself... Even more hungry than I was when I was pregnant. I need food and I need to eat NOW. I'm hanging out at 156 and if I could just drop the last ten or so pounds then I wouldn't complain about these "fat" days. On the plus side, I am seriously toning up my muscles and I am getting strong. Love it. It's nice to have muscle tone again and not have arms that look like a wet sock hanging on a stick... Bleh.

Chunko has been signing for More and All done and eat and has been saying so many new things. He still gets that stubborn set in his jaw when he try to get him to say something but sometimes he'll accidentally slip out with a word.
He says, done, more, that, this, and he screams DADA all the time now. He also is shaking his head for yes and no.

He's lucky he's been entertaining us or else we would have sold him on ebay a long time ago. Keep your eyes peeled, though because you might see him up there real soon...





Ps, the sad thing is this post totally makes sense to me and is even funny to me... No more blogging without sleep...

Tales of the Chunko

Chunko is a very goofy kid (I think he gets it from his brother... ) and he does some rather crazy weird hysterical things throughout the week and I think I need to share.

Keep in mind that I am a very funny person and these stories will make you laugh til you pee... or do it cause you love me
(Do it! Pee your pants for me!)
(No? Okay, fine)

Let me paint the picture for you:

A) We were ordering at Jack 'N' The Crack and Chunko started wandering around. He found a lonely woman sitting by herself and joined her at the table. He sits in the chair across from her, spits out his binky, grabs a french fry and shoves it in his mouth. I rush over and sharply "No stealing people's food!"

Chunko kindly spits out his chewed fry and places it back on the table. He sits staring intently at the now grossed out woman, waiting for her to tell him it's okay to eat it again. When she didn't respond quickly enough he pointed at his mush and asks "Eh?"

I dragged him away and cleaned up his mess but I don't think she believed my apologies as I was laughing so hard, I was crying.
Sorry random lady. It means he likes you if that helps any?

B) My mother-in-law was watching Chunko one day and texted me in a panic because he had chewed on some rocks from outside (of course they're from outside, where else do rocks come from?). She was worried that it was going to make him sick. I told her not worry. Later on, I got another panic text telling me Chunko had decided to add flavor to his binky by swishing it in the toilet. (what is with my kids and toilets???). Again, I tell her not to worry.

I'm discussing this with my love that night and he tells me not to worry about Chunko and the things he ingests. He said that at this point he's probably immune to all biological weapons and will survive any nuclear fallout.
So I guess my love thinks Chunko is a cockroach.... Nice, real nice.

Moral of the story? God made dirt and dirt don't hurt.... and neither does toilet water, I guess.

C) My dad has an amazing new sound system in his car and has been tearing through all of our CDs to download as much music to his MP3 as possible. He wants the bass, he wants the treble and he is trying out everything. I never thought my dad would actually like listening to Korn (Follow the Leader has such a pounding bass). I recently asked him if he had any favorites, thinking he would name the Black Eyed Peas or Adele or something. He says "There's this one, you have a lot of her stuff and she's really good."
(guilty admission coming up ---->) I ask him if he means Britney Spears because I have 5 of her CDs. He says "Ew, no way. It's the one who sings Womanizer"
Yeah Dad, that's Britney Spears...
He starts to look sick and goes "Oh ew, I like Britney Spears. I actually like her a lot."

Haha, I've converted my dad to the dark glittery side!

D) We all know the ASPCA commercial where they show all the badly abused animals, right? Chunko's see it one day and for every animal they show, he says "Ow"

Apparently I wasn't respecting their pain well enough so he ran up to me, grabbed my face, stared me right in the eye and said "Ow"
Then he ran back to the TV and chanted "Ow" again.
At least he gets that they are in pain?
When he's tossing his animals around and pulling their hair, he says "Ow" now too. So sweet and loving.

E) On the note of Chunko and the TV, he likes to record cooking shows now. I'm just glad he's temporarily off his porn kick. If he can get his hands on the remote, he sets it to picture-in-picture and won't let me change it from the Nancy Grace show and some bake-off cupcake show. My TV watching days have been numbered I guess.

That's it for now. I'm trying to keep updating all the amusing things he does with us but there is so much that I would be here typing it and not there enjoying it.
If you'll excuse me, I have to go get the kids out of the toilet now...

Lolzzzzzzz

Someone kept saying my name and I kept saying "What?"


They just kept yelling it and finally I'm screaming "What?" and looking around...

It was the TV

Hello, sleep Deprivation!

Taking What We're Given

On Tuesday my love took his youngest daughter home. He was supposed to make sure she was dropped off at his oldest's before exactly 6am. I guess his oldests' husband overslept so she called my love to make sure they were there out front. It was less than a 5 minute conversation but it was the first time they talked to each other since August of 2009.

This is huge! The last time they communicated (via text) was ugly. Big ugly. and there's been nothing since.

It's small, but we're taking it.
Who knows, maybe in another 2 years they'll have a longer conversation.

Baby steps.



Why do I feel like I am the only one who's rooting for a reunion sometimes?

I'm Sofa King Tired

Things have been a bit hectic...
(When are things not hectic in this family????)

I believe that as our kids get older they won't look back and reminisce about all the movies we went to or the Ren Faires we visited. But I hope that they will look back and remember the good times, the crazy times and some of the bad times with fondness and love. I want them to laugh as they remember the time my car blew up on the freeway or giggle when they think of the time we loaded up the car with the kids in the truck and went to Death Valley. It shouldn't be about the money or how much we can spend on them. More than anything, I want them to know that we are a family and we love them to bits and pieces and every fiber of our being...

Sorry kids, you're stuck with us...

So, back to this weekend....

It was full of us being lost for almost 2 hours, playing at the water park, hanging out with my sister and my step girl coming home from 10 days in Europe.

My sister called me on Sunday... Went like this:
My Sister: Did you know the kids drink from straws?
Me: Um... That's fantastic. I'm glad that they finally accomplished that.
My Sister: Yeah, they drink from straws from your toilet.
Me: What???? Okay, well maybe your kids did, but mine doesn't
My Sister: Ask him
Me: Hey Geeks, have you ever drank from a straw from our toilet?
Geeks: Well yeah but only because they tripled dogged dared me to!
Me: (gagging) I have to go. Could you please not share this with me again? Okay bye now

So that's gross, right?
Yeah, I'll give you a minute to be sick to your stomach...



So, of course I have to share this with every living person with two ears.
My mom text me...

And wanted to know if the kids wanted to come over for cocktails.

Last night my love and I were watching Toddlers and Tiaras (yeah, I don't know why either) and there was a little 8 year old boy. He did tap, he did ballet and he could sing. He always traveled with his two dolls who had their own carrying case and matching outfits. That was when my love burst out with "I am so glad Geeks drinks out of the toilet."

I still haven't stopped laughing...

And enough toilet drinking jokes.