Little Chef

I'm standing by the microwave last night with Chunko in my arms. 

Suddenly he lunges out of my grasp and onto the kitchen counter.

He opens the microwave door, places his key inside and shuts the door again.

He pushes a couple of buttons until it starts and then patiently waits for it to finish.

The microwave beeps and he opens the door again....


Ya hungry Chunko?

(I'm thinking we might use the microwave way too often if the baby is already getting how to use it)

The Insanity of It All

Chunko thinks he's a wrestling god.

Last night he was running at his dad and lunging at his stomach. Just when he had knocked all the wind out of him, he would lift my love's shirt and blow a raspberry on his belly...

He thought he was a hoot.

Chunko does not share. Very very bad habit that he is going to have to learn the hard way about breaking. We have way too many kids in our family that will not allow Chunko to steal their things, no matter how big he is... Or thinks he is. If you do try to reclaim your property be careful, though, he is strong enough to grab it right back and he fights dirty (hair pulling, sratching and yelling to name a few tricks).

Chunko has re-programmed our TV remote. We're like almost all Americans and have three remotes, TV, cable and DVD. He held the cable remote up, pushed a load of buttons, pointed it back at the TV and turned it on! When we first moved we tried to do that and couldn't figure it out. Even the cable guy told us our TV was too old and incompatible... Um... Yeah, or you're lazier than a baby. Chunko knows how to turn on the TV or DVD player and he makes sure you know that he knows what he is doing. He is very proud of his manly efforts of TV domination.

My love lost his car keys this morning (we think Chunko hid them for later) so he had too borrow my car. I didn't really want to wait for him to pick me up from work so I started walking. I walked half way home in 30 mins and I felt great! I really miss walking as much as I used to. Having a car has made me soooo lazy. I'm thinking that on my days off I should start walking with the babies just to get the blood flowing.
PS, we found his keys in the Pepsi box.... No clue how they got in the box.
I'm still about 17 pounds over my goal weight but I am sitting at 168 right now so I am starting to feel kind of normal. For once I see there is a chance of me getting to wear my old clothes again. I don't feel overweight or fat anymore... I just feel bloated, for lack of a better word. I am incredibly tired and exhausted but that would be from being abandoned by my love for a week and the baby cracking four teeth in a month... Sleep? What is that and where can I get some?

A couple of weeks ago I got to have a girl's day out... Oh so much fun!!!! We got pedicures and our eyebrows waxed. We went and had lunch at Olive Garden and just talked girl talk.... We had Chunko and Boogerz with us but it was so nice to laugh and talk about random girl stuff. We found the most amazing nail place. The people that worked there cracked us up. They made fun of my eyebrows (which desperately needed help, as in I lost 8 pounds after that waxing) and they made fun of each other. I bribed my step-girl with a pedi/mani from there if she gets straight A's.... She wants to do it and I think by that time I'll deserve it, too! I cannot wait until our next girly date...

My sister is getting married!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Holy cow I never thought I would be saying that!

Her man child is so good to her and such a great guy... I think he's an ass but only because he's a little too much like the brother I never wanted. He got his divorce from his rat dog ex (who is a dirty bit who refused to sign the effing paperwork and then had the nerve to accuse a good guy of abuse.... If we lived in the same state she'd be sleeping with one eye open... Another time, another issue).

Anyways, I currently have two very stunning wedding gowns in my closet for her and I am just dying to photograph her in them.... Squee!!!

Of course, since she's getting married, we had to have the bachlorette party! We went out and...

Oh wait... No way. What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas, right? Yeah, I'm not ratting out my girls no matter who got too drunk or who touched the stripper's tightly smooth body...

Yeah, I'm tired now and the hubs is pushing me out of the desk chair... I guess he thinks Family Fued or Price Is Right is going to suddenly run away or something...

Happy 10 Months (Minus A Day)

One sock on and one sock off....

Dirty toes in the rocks, as he samples the large array of outside goodies.

All I keep thinking of is a hurricaine. He's managed to whiz into our lives and just uproot everything and nothing will ever be the same.

Now that he is a full on walker, he thinks he has permission to go anywhere his head fits (which has gotten him stuck between our couches numerous times). We borrowed a baby gate to keep him in one room and he managed to learn how to lift the bar to move it. We thought we were smarter than the baby and just turned the gate around so he couldn't reach the bar anymore and he destroyed it. The gate looks like someone ran over it and fed it to their T-Rex. It's bent and disformed. If we even put it up, he goes over and shakes it til it falls. He will not be kept captive.

At the sitter's house he has mastered the childproof locks on her cabinets. We almost invested in them for our house but thankfully we learned how pointless they were beforehand. He also has figured out how to manhandle his way into her china cabinet drawers. She has watched numerous children throughout the past few years, including her own two kids and none of them ever caused the havoc Chunko is.

I'm just glad she isn't charging us a hazard pay. 

Chunko tells me "No"

He has this little game he likes to play where he goes to hand you something and then when you reach for it he whips it behind his back. He thinks it's hysterical when he takes it away from you.

He loves to dance. He doesn't dance to most regular music but random music like the Dexter closing credits or the new Kia commercial. It's great because Dexter will end and he will wake from a dead sleep to run over to the TV and bounce.

(Speaking of Dexter, what the heck is up with the end of Season 4???? Is that even allowed? You can't end it like that!!)

Chunko has cut six teeth. He popped four almost in a row and it's been very hard on all of us. I think he's in a rush to get as many teeth as he can so he can eat more. We're doing our best to wean him from baby gush food and get him set on regular foods but he is resistant to half of the foods we give him. He wants chocolate and mashed potatoes.

Bathtime is still his absolute favorite activity.
He still steals keys and remotes.

He loves wrestling (especially if he's winning).

He's learning peek-a-boo.

He likes patty-cake and clapping.

Actually he ferrets things away. He hides binkies, bottles, toys and food so that later on he can go to his hidey place and grab it. And his hiding places are good. We tried to do a little recon for lost binkies and we found 1 (out of 12). He cries, doesn't get the binky from us and goes and grabs one of his stashed ones... And we still don't know where he hid it!

He is stubborn. I asked to hold his hand so we could walk together and he scratched me and said "No" and walked away in the opposite direction. He is strong and he has his own plan and there are times where I wonder how we're going to face the terrible twos...

I wish I could think of all that he is doing so I can record it to look back on but as I said before, the kid is a hurricaine...

And then after he causes his destruction, he lays in the middle if his path and sleeps as if an angel (and who cleans his mess? Mommy! But who cleans his dipey??? Oh Daddy... Someone's calling for you....)

WTF Is In Your Shoe????

Yesterday we decided that ISLOP IHOP sounded really nummy and that we should all gather around and go... MY love puts on his tennis shoes and we hop into the car.

I put the car in reverse and start to back up:

Husb: I think there's something in my shoe

Me: What?

Husb: There's something moving in my shoe

*Husb takes shoe off and looks in... Immediately slams shoe to ground and stomps other foot on it*

Husb: There's something in my shoe

Me: (panicking and stopping car in the middle of the street) What?!?

Husb: There's a spider in my shoe

Me: (calming down slightly and putting car in Park, just in case) Oh a spider? What do you mean?

*side note* I was still worried because my husband never freaks out over bugs but I was thinking "How big could it possibly be? It's a spider in my husband's shoe, it's not like there's that much room for a gigantic spider to be hanging out in."

My husband gets out of the car and dumps out his shoe and his humongous, hideous, monstrous, ginormous little passenger come rolling out...

WTF?!?!?!? How do you not know that was in your shoe? That thing is obscenely HUGE!!!!

What the holy flying cow hopper is that?

Then the frickin beast starts moving! How in the world is that thing still alive??? I hopped in the car, locked the doors and pulled forward a few feet just in case it decided to seek it's revenge.

 I keep picturing coming in contact with it some other place, trying to squish it with a shoe and spider beast snatching the shoe from me and hitting me back...
Anybody have some kryptonite for SuperSpidey?

What is spider man's weakness (other than a hot piece of tail?)

I've been googling like crazy to see if we can identify it...

It's doesn't look like a tarantula, brown recluse, black widow.

I keep seeing pictures of that monster spider they found in Iraq, you know the one, it looks like something from  Starship Troopers...

The Camel Spider

All these thoughts are racing through my mind.
Is it poisonous?

Does it live alone?

Does it breed in dark dank sweaty smelly places?

It obviously doesn't have a sense of smell...

I am freaking out. I keep checking my shoes (I'm wearing flip flops).  I'm worried about my babies and them getting bit. I don't want to end up on an episode of House....
Anybody know what was in his shoe????

An American

My rage on this matter is so intense that I can't even find the right words to start...

Last week the supreme court decided that the protesters at a military funeral were protected by our right to free speech. They were allowed to out there, on public property holding their signs and screaming "A good soldier is a dead one"

I do my best to see things from all perspectives. Maybe in the heat of the moment, I don't stop and think how my husband feels about doing the laundry when we need clean clothes but I do cool off and think.
This is one of the very few sides that I refuse to even consider.

There is no "other side"

You (jackasses protesting military funerals) are WRONG.

The ironic and most disgusting part of this is that the whole reason these idiots have the right to be out there is because a soldier risked his life (and probably even sacrificed it) for their freedom.

Even if you are against the idea of war, and you feel so strongly you must gather a group of your fellow believers and picket some one's lawn... Why are you tormenting the already ruined family of the fallen soldier??? They just lost their father, brother, husband, son.... and you're reveling in their pain.

This struck even closer for me this week.
I was given the honor of watching a funeral procession, including the Freedom Riders and their flags, metro police escort, military personnel all following the tragic white hearse. I watched the grief stricken parents follow their son's casket into the mortuary and everyone go silent in respect for this man who fought for us and for freedom. Sunday is the gentleman's funeral service and there will be protesters...

And I will fight every inch of being not to hit them with my car....

A huge F U goes out to all those disgusting hypocritical pigs that have the audacity to picket or protest the very thing that allows them the right to be there!!!
You deserve to be in that casket more and if you had any balls to actually risk your life for anything other than your own selfish needs (if that) you would be a soldier, too and not some prick standing outside pretending he had a cause to give a shit about....

Single(ish) Parenting

I really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really miss my husband. He's been gone for too long and it's still another 46 hours and 21 minutes until he's home (not that I'm counting)... So of course when he's gone all heck has to break loose...

My monday night went kind of like this:

7:00 pm - Chunko steals the toilet paper and leaves me stranded in the toilet unil he comes smiling back 15 minutes later

7:30 pm - Chunko gives himself a black eye by trying to climb into his brother's bath, slipping and smacking his baby face into the edge of the tub

8:00 pm - Chunko is bored in his bath and proceeds to throw bath toys and shampoos at me

8:15 pm - Chunko gives up throwing things and tries to climb out... and slips and bashes his head on the bathroom floor

10:00 pm - Chunko finally goes to sleep (Moo is very happy)

2:10 am - Chunko wakes up fussy and I try to cuddle him back to sleep... End up passing out from sleep exhaustion

3:10 am - Chunko falls out of my bed. I freak out and in my stupor get tangled in the blankets and end up covering the screaming baby. When I finally uncover him, he looks at me like I am so dumb

3:50 am - I finally get Chunko back to sleep... Again

4:10 am - Chunko fusses, kind of wakes, waits for me to pat his back, and goes back to sleep

5:30 am - Chunko fusses, kind of wakes, waits for me to pat his back, and goes back to sleep



5:45 am - Chunko fusses, kind of wakes, waits for me to pat his back, and goes back to sleep



6:15 am - Chunko fusses, kind of wakes, waits for me to pat his back, and goes back to sleep



6:27 am - My sister texts me that she's on her way to get the baby and it is officially time for me to get up

Anybody agree that my husband needs to be home, like, now?????

On top of Chunko being slightly insane, work has been hectic and I am so close to freaking out on my co-worker. She's decided that she just show up to work and do the bare minimum which so does not work for me. I need someone I can count on, someone that can help me. Not someone I need to follow after and make sure the job is being done and correctly... Wah wah wah wah wah, I know. I don't like complaining about my job or co-workers because I love it and it's so amazing but I am just done with these past couple of weeks. There is relief in my future, I've been told, so I am just counting to that moment.