I'm really worried that I am pregnant. I'm not one of those people that worry every month just because a little nausea kicked in but I am concerned. I mean after my molar pregnancy last year and the chemo this year, I am so scared it could be another molar, it could be a partial molar or it could be a healthy normal baby. And now I have to wait at least another week before even finding out.
In all honesty, that's the absolute least of my concerns.
My boss and I were chatting yesterday and suddenly he tells me that I'm drama! Me? Really? Out of so many people I know, I am so not the drama. I'm denying this to him, when not even five minutes later my phone rings. It's my husband calling to tell me he's been in a car accident. He's ok, no harm done, of course, but an accident is an accident. Now, mind you, my dad was in a car accident about a month ago and about three weeks ago my mom had a mild heart attack. So technically it's not me that's the drama, it's people around me, right?
Pepole say they live in a soap opera. With the cheating men, and the mistress is pregnant and people mysteriously disappear and there's always something to entertain... yep, that's me. When I get a spare moment I'll tell you about my friend Raven. Hoo-Wee!
We all know the drama of my eldest step-daughter, it's never ending, always the same (over and over and over) and will never change as long as she refuses to talk to either one of us. So there's no need to drudge that up. If you don't know, I don't talk about it, and it's looooooooonnnnngggg.
My dad's car accident destroyed his life. Actually his divorce did, but this made it far worse. So to allow him to build it back up, we offered (more like demanded) he move in with us. Everything was set, and then his landlord wouldn't let him break the lease. Then he wasn't moving in with us. But then he was, just a couple of weeks later. Then he wasn't because he had to wait until November to move and then he would get his own place, no big. But then he was because he wanted to save a little more money just in case life atatcked him again. Confused? Yeah, me too.
My ex has lost his mind. Our divorce was amicable. He came to my wedding, I witnessed his. We both love each other (but not like that, we're divorced for good reasons). For the longest time I would call him and ask when he wanted to see his kid, We'd schedule something and then at the last minute he'd cancel, for one reason or another. Then I realized that if he actually cared about his kid and truly wanted to see him, wouldn't he call me? Why am I chasing him down to spend time with his kid? Father's Day was my last straw. Who doesn't want to see their only kid on Father's Day? Apparently, my ex. He was sick. Like I don't know that he was out partying until Lord knows when the night before? I got mad and he tried to blame me for why he never sees his son! Me? The person who chases him down, drives the boy over to him, picks him up? Ugh! And he doesn't even pay a dime of support for his son!
Then there's the condo. Are we going to keep it even though we're upside down, or are we going to short sell? Are we going to try to fight and stay or let it foreclose and just move? We've been fighting this battle for about a year and finally it's done!! So happy! We're moving into a beautiful new house and I couldn't be happier. More space, backyard for all the kids (there are so many of them), the most gorgeous kitchen ever! The community is the cutest ever, my amazing sister-in-law found it. All my friends want to move there cause it's live living in the country.
I had the whole condo packed within the first day of us finding out we were moving, if that tells you how excited I am.
And through all this blood, stress and tears, there's my husband. He has got to be one of the greatest ever. He's never left my side. Even when I was in the hospital for almost a month, through all my chemo, through all my temper tantrums (being sick does that to you, I'm not proud but I'll admit it). When I was too sick to get out of bed, he was there making dinner, when I woke in the middle of the night, he'd stay awake with me and talk me back to sleep. I don't know how I was blessed to find such a kind, loving man, but thank you! My husband and my son, the support of my sister and my dad, that's why I am at peace. I still have my moments, but everything seems so petty and menial when you think about how long we have with each other and how short any one of our lives could become. Live each moment to the fullest, make sure every one knows how much you care, don't waste your time with hate and anger, mend all fences and everything happens for a reason.
Self-Portrait of a Monk
