Worry Wart

I can't get over how good looking my husband is...

Isn't he goofy?

My birthday present to him was another tattoo, so on Saturday he finally got to go in and get it inked. His next one will be after he successfully completes his Silverman in November.

So my grandmother is in the hospital. She had a stroke and lost more than eighty percent of her vision. And half my family has taken is upon themselves to guilt me into calling her. Seeing as how I wasn't the one that choose to stop talking to her, I don't see why I have to be the one to call her. I know I'm being petty and I know that I'll end up calling her but it is so frustrating that I have a family full of grown up children. I'm constantly the "bigger person" and apologizing for things I never did wrong. Which is probably the reason why I've grown into such a push-over.

My mom is just a mess and when things go wrong for her who does she turn her anger to? Me! So I get the lovely "I'm respecting your wishes by not talking to you but.." phone calls. I don't know what wishes she's talking about but sure, whatever. My dad joins in with his version of the guilt trip. He gives the "Since I recently lost my mother, I don't have her to be mad at me". Really? Cause if she were alive you'd rather she hold grudges against you for reasons that only make sense to her and then blame you for any fall-out? That seems to be a favorite in my family. The "I'm mad at you and I'm not talking to you and I'm not going to give you a real reason why but how dare you not talk to me" Let me know when that actually makes sense. Family is everything to me because I know what it's like not to have any, to be completely abandoned by them all. Even the mother who swears she loves you. That's why I try not to interfere with my step-kid's relationship with her mom. They're very close and I try not to tread.

My mother has created so many issues and has been so abusive to me for so many years that this one incident I'm not letting go and pretending it didn't happen. Which is what I'm guessing she wants to do since she made such an ass out of herself.

And to make it just a little more stressful, my step-girl is losing weight incredibly fast. She's naturally skinny (prob a high metabolism and growing an inch a month helps) but she's done almost 20 pounds in 3 months. I don't think she has a specific eating disorder but she says that she doesn't eat because she's scared the food will make her sick... Did I mention she was a hypochondriac? I'm incredibly worried about her and I'm at a loss as to what to do to help. I'm used to girls with anorexia and bulimia. I've suffered them myself. But this is a whole other field. We're going to have to find a solution soon or she's going to end up in the hospital.

Worry, worry, worry.

What A Joke

So I officially have a prank caller.

Which I think is the most hysterical thing ever.

I wish ya'll could hear these calls because the noises this person makes are nothing short of an art form. The pretending to "Butt Dial" not that smart, the voicemail messages give that away. But the snorking like a pig is pure genius! I can't even begin to try to recreate these sounds because I have no where near that talent. I wish I could though, because it is too funny. While the pig snorts are my favorites, the blowing of "Jingle Bells" into the mouthpiece is a very close second. At least I think it's that, the caller gets a little confused or something towards the end.

The funny thing is that my new prankster friend thinks they're so smart by blocking their number, but their number shows up on my bill. So I know who they are... But they don't know that I know and that makes even funnier. I get this picture in my head of my caller dialing my number at 2am, a little smirk on their face, thinking they're so freakin smart. Too funny!

I'd just block the calls but it's too much fun not to let it continue.

I wonder what's next...

Silly Billy, lost his Willy

I am in one those random moods today. I am too tired to think all that clearly and I just want to laugh. It's all been too stressful lately and I just want to relax.

Don't you just love the goofs I work with? With the job we do, you have to let loose every now and then. I hate when things slow down because I don't have anyhting to do but be bored but I love it because it almost seems like we've all lost our minds. Laminating cockroaches, throwing peppers around the office, racing rolling chairs down the hall. It's even funnier when you get caught.
One guy (above) would get a woman who would call, ask some basic work related questions and then start telling him how bad she needed him. The look on his face, totally priceless.
I'm lucky enough to be one of the few people that love their jobs. I really don't like waking up early in the mornings or trying to find a sitter, but I love coming to work and learning new things about a vocation the mass majority of people know nothing about.

Of course, there's always "The Chive" my new favorite website, to keep us entertained. Bunch of funny pictures of anything and everything stupid. Inclusind the "Demotivational Posters", Love those! And when that gets old? Hulu.com of course! My Ariel Key! My Honey Bear got it made for me! Is he not the sweetest?

So apparently I get to gain inches around my waist (just my waist) but loose weight. Is this part of the whole "Be careful what you wish for" hoopla? I just wanted to loose some of the weight from the molar fiasco, maybe not look pregnant anymore, and ta-da! I have. I'm down ten pounds. And I'm up two pant sizes! Still look pregnant, too (cause that's so helping my whole get over it thing). What the heck?

I am not obsessed with my weight like most women seem to be. I'm not rushing out to buy only organic and exercising every time I seem to find a bit of flab on my butt. I am very happy with my looks, stretch marks and all. I'm not tight and taut but I like being fleshy. I have large breasts, long forever legs and sizable hips so it's not like I'm going to be a size 2 any time soon, so why bother? I'm healthy (yeah, except the mole which has nothing to do with this) and my husband loves it. Besides when I was skinny, I was always sick.
So what's with this fat but not fat schtick going on here? Do I exercise to get rid of the pudge and loose the pant size (and more weight that I can't afford) or sit on it and hopes it just magically falls off (which has happened in the past)?

Screw it, where's my donuts?

Moving Moving Movin

Ugh! Moving day was way too hard. I have never been so sore or tired. I probably have but I'm too busy exaggerating right now. It took One 24 foot truck and three runs with the car but the condo is cleared and officially gone! Yay-Hoo!

We got the kitchen unpacked and looking like a real home. I got to freak out for three days because I thought I lost one of th emost important kitchen boxes. You know, the one with the dinner plates and drinking glasses in it. I finally found it last night, at 10:30! But I found it so no complaining.
The poor babies were all such troopers. They were just dropping like flies at one point. Sleeping where they lay. Isn't it amazing how they can sleep anywhere, at any time? I was vacuuming in the other room, right next door and he was zonked.

Tonight we have to work on setting up the computer and the rest of our room...
Our room, oh what a dream!
We have this huge massive bed, that typically takes up the mass majority of our room. We set it up last night and then looked around. We couldn't believe that we had enough room to stand on each side of the bed and spin with our arms outstretched. How cool is that?

Of course, no successful moving day is complete without minor drama. I'm still confused as to how it got so complicated but why on my moving day? I'm already stressing on making sure the day goes smooth and then this person has to go and cause speed bumps?
I'm over it now. Kind of.

Bleh