Dr Phil

Three years ago we had the opportunity to be on Dr Phil...
I guess my OSD wrote in and told them of our dilema and our inability to get along and the producers realy wanted to have us on.

They called her for more details and then they called my love to see if we were interested in duking it out on the stage... (they phrased it a wee bit differently). My love told them that he would think about it. He didn't want to air the dirty laundry for the whole crazy world to see so he called back and poiltely refused.

Somehow I got blamed for us not going on to "resolve our issues" but it was never my decision to make. I would have done it, I think, if for nothing else than for the new experience. I don't honestly think he could've helped us, they were only looking for drama, and we had plenty of it.

For weeks, the producers kept calling back and begging us to do the show! They offered free flights, room and board. They offered to come to us and do the interviews locally. They even offered us a "small compensation for our time."

My love had to eventually express his disinterest in going to LA more firmly until they finally got the point and stopped calling.

I wonder sometimes what she wrote that got them so jazzed and interested.

Funny thing, if they were that interested then, I wonder what they would say now after three years of even crazier stuff?

Seriously?!?!?!?

Oh hello stress... It's been so long since we last met that I almost forgot you...

What the holy f*&* Batman, I mean seriously?!?!

Okay (*pant*) I'm done raving like a loon (*shakes fist at the sky*)

We got a phone call this morning from the new owners of our current house telling us that we have to pay for the last two weeks of the month.

Um... what? We already paid this month's rent to the property management company, if you want it, go ask them for it.

No.

We're told if we don't pay them for the last two weeks within the next seven days (they're being gracious extending it so far) then they'll evict us. But how can they? Didn't we just tap our legal sources to make sure we had 90 days before they could even think about evicting us?

I guess there's some lame loophole that basically they could tie us up legally and screw our lives up if we refuse to pay them.... So, since we really aren't fond of the courts, we call the property management company.

Wait for it....

They don't have the money. They tell us to call the old owner of the house and make him pay us.

But wait, aren't they supposed to hold that money in a trust when the house forecloses just in case this exact thing happens?

Yeah, they are, but the old owner swore the house wasn't foreclosing (even though we had a note posted on our door) and so they trusted him. Dude, that's fraud!

And now we had to contact a lawyer to protect us from both these theiving bastards! This is such bull! We just want to stay in this stupid house another three weeks until our new place is ready. Is that really too effing much to ask for?

(Even as I'm re-reading this I'm confused, so sorry, but if it doesn't make sense to me I sure as hell can't explain it)

Ok I Feel Better

I stabbed my neighbors last night... Killed them all... It was so nice and quiet for once...





Ok, not really, but it was a nice thought.

They were out there screaming and calling me "Honkey" and just being obnoxious. Really, people still call people that? I have been called so much worse (by my own family, mind you) that all I could do was laugh at their childish stupidity. They didn't like that too much but whatever. I am having a really hard time biting my tongue but I'm trying really really really hard.

The new owners of our house didn't accept our counter. After they were done laughing they just said we could wait the 90 days. So now we can wait in peace for the escrow to close on the new place. Now that I can think clearly and without any stress, I realize that I did not want to live in a motel for two weeks. And move our stuff (Twice) and worry about escrow taking longer than two weeks... so I'm happy.

In fact the bank is trying to expedite our closing so that we might be able to move in around the end of this month! How exciting! I've always loved moving day and I could really use the exercise.

Onto more good news... I have lost three whole pounds!!

I know, I know, that's just a ginormous change but it's something for now.

I've been working the Wii and riding my bike (uphill, bleh), eating smaller healthier meals and just being all around healthy.... I frickin hate it!! I do have to thank my cool ass step girl for playing the Wii with me and "letting" me beat her on every game. I need that inspiration sometimes.
But I have to wonder... Isn't lugging around my 17 and a half pound chunko enough exercise? I mean, I should have some 32" biceps by now...

Ok, So I'm Just A Little Stressed

Look at him trying to crawl. He is so determined to move his body, somehow, some day...

His latest goal is to sit up. We can't leave him alone when he's awake because he'll start grunting and trying to sit up. He can do a pretty good crunch but can't get up that last couple of inches.

My days off have changed so now I have one weekend day to spend with my family and I am so thankful. I was beginning to hate never seeing anyone and always being left out of all the fun parties... But now... Yay!! Thank you amazing boss lady! Thank you!

Okay, on to my ever rising stress...
Let me know if I confuse the fudge-cicle out of you, k?

So we have a new house, it's currently in escrow (yay!). It's huge and amazing and huge and and and huge! So we're all excited. We worked it out with our current landlord to stay until escrow closes. We do our little jig as we celebrate our good fortune...

Then we get a letter taped to our door, they're foreclosing on the house we're currently in. Okay, no big worries. They have to give us time to leave and I'm pretty sure escrow will close looong before that.

Then we get a new notice, the house has been auctioned off and bought and we have to get the f** out now. If we don't vacate asap they'll evict us.
Well, that's just bull hockey, we know our rights as tenants. They have to give us 90 days to leave before they can even think of beginning the eviction process.. here's a wrench. They offered us money to get out a little sooner, like an incentive. We're going to counter-offer because the amount they offered wouldn't cover any of our moving costs...
But...

Now we have to sit here and hold our breath and wait to see if they accept our counter (which means we'll be moving our stuff into storage and motel-ing it for at least two weeks) or if we can take our sweet time moving out.
I don't really want to live in a motel, but the extra money might be nice, but moving twice stinks... ugh!!

Why do I feel like I was just here doing all this only a year ago?

Oh that's right... cause I was!

I'm not usually a stress ball or a worry wart, I'm more of the easy flow kind of people.

But this is really bothering me. I really hate when I don't know what's going on and this is too many things up in the air.

To make it just a little more fun, our neighbors are annoying me and trashing our property and I am thisclose to reeking some havoc on their dumb asses. They let their 4 and 6 year old run amok (people almost hit them as they run across the street alll the time), they throw trash in our backyard, they stole our gas tank cap, they moved our rocks out of the yard into the street, they sit on our car bumpers, they ring the doorbell incessantly, they walk into our house if the door is open, they took toys out of our backyard, and don't even get me started on their loud music in the middle of the night, the screaming from the upstairs window or the loudly whimpering puppy.

I don't know who to call first CPS, the police or the HOA...
It used to be such a nice neighborhood, too. I am so glad we didn't buy there like we wanted to...

I am going to go curl up into a ball and cry, excuse me...

Hungry Baby

My baby's always hungry... like Always. So I'm getting ready for work this morning and I make him a bottle, as I usually do. He's doing pretty good until I take the bottle away to strap him into his car seat. He starts to cry...

Mommy: Does my baby want his ba-ba?
Baby: (silence)
Mommy: My baby wants his ba-ba?
Baby: (whimper)
Mommy: Yes you do, his'ms wants his ba-ba (don't judge my baby talk)
Baby: (smiles)
Mommy: Mommy has your bottle
Him: WWWAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH

I took that to mean "Why did you steal my bottle you evil woman?!?"

Isn't he just precious when he gets all possessive over his food?

Forgot A Thing Or Two

It's all so hectic that I can't keep track of everything...

I want to share all his little adventures and new learnings but I don't remember it all.

I forgot to mention that he weened himself from breastfeeding. He just decided one morning that he wanted only formula and so that was what he was going to have. His doctor was impressed by it but I sure wasn't! I didn't want to breastfeed for only three weeks!

He holds his head up all the time now and he doesn't mind tummy time as much anymore. He'd rather be held so he can sit or stand (bear weight, whatever) but he tolerates his floor time a little better now. Before he would jam his face into the blanket until we picked him up. Now he'll do his push-ups, look at us to see if we'll pick him up and if we don't he'll yell at us. Oh yeah, he yells and makes his demands known.

His eyes are staying a dark green and I'm hoping that it's permanent. If it's not, it looks like his eyes will at least be hazel.

I almost forgot his scooting! If he thinks there's food anywhere nearby he'll scoot to find it. He's so cute when he bends his knees with his feet in the air and starts scrambling around. In the mornings he scoots from one end of his crib to the other looking for his breakfast. I can hear him snorting from across the room.

That's all he's letting me write... I only had a three minute break between feedings, apparently!

6 Week Update

We have been so busy these past two weeks, that I don't even know where to begin!

Short Round had his six week check-up on Monday and he was 15 and a half pounds!!! His height and weight are both above the 95th percentile! Like he's so much bigger than most babies, they don't even have a percentile for him. While we were waiting in the office, there was a 5 month old baby and they were the same size! She was sitting on her own and clapping and jabbering at everyone... and then the parents would look over at me, all sympathetic, thinking my baby was slow or stupid because all he did was eat. I wanted to scream "He's barely six weeks!"

Even though he's huge and there was a huge chance his weight was going to slow him down, he's advanced and right on schedule with his milestones so far. He's bearing weight ahead of schedule, as he's been doing it for three weeks now. He really wants to roll over and was able to do it once in the bathtub (which scared the beejesus out of me!). He's been smiling at us and making faces at us and it's not just gas. That's only about a week and a half early, but still. He chews on his fingers and sleeps through the night on a regular basis (whoo-hoo!). He rarely cries (so happy), and most of the time it's because he's hungry or has a booger and can't breathe while eating.

I was worried about having such a large baby because he's going to outgrow the mass majority of his things far before he's supposed to. I freaked when I read that his car seat only went to 22 pounds but I guess they make car seats for chunko babies so we're going to have to upgrade a little sooner than we planned. Thankfully he rarely uses his swing so we don't have to worry about when he outgrows that. He's already wearing six month clothing for the most part, which stinks cause we had so many cute little guy outfits, but we'll just pass them on.

My bump buddy just got married!!! She was absolutely stunning and I am so glad we were able to celebrate with her.

We got to spend time with Geekers great-grandma, go to a water park and go to a really fun wedding! All in all, this past weekend in California was a blast!

I was a little upset we didn't get to see the beach this time (what's the point of Cali if you don't see the beach at least once?) but the water park made up for it. I was self-conscious in my swimsuit for 4 seconds, until I looked around and saw all the overweight women scampering around itsy-bitsy bikinis. When I finally got my sight back, I reminded myself that it's only been six weeks and that I'm not the worse looking there. Besides, why should I care? I was married to the man of my dreams and he had no problems with how I looked.
Speaking of my weight issues, I got the Wii Fit. I'm hoping that it'll help me burn off the excess fat if nothing else.

I cried at the wedding... I know, I know, but I felt like it was my baby girl getting married and she was so beautiful and happy. We all stayed in the same hotel so we got to catch up with each other in the evenings. All the bridesmaids got ready together and my stupid long ass hair wouldn't curl! Oh well, it wasn't my day anyways. I'm just really glad I didn't have to wear a halter dress and try to figure out how to keep my boobs inside the dress. I was a little worried about being the photographer and a bridesmaid, but it worked out... the photo guy surprised the couple by showing up at the last second!

Other than all that, we've been packing to move. We've outgrown this house (obviously) and are going to move into a larger house. We've seen a couple we love that are just amazing so we'll see...

I'm going back to work tomorrow... I am going to miss the baby so much but I am so over being a bored housewife. If I could bring my boys to work with me, I so would. But only every now and then because Mommy needs her space.

I think that's all I can think of... so that's that