The Big Question

Of course, as any pregnant woman does, the big question has come up. From the first moment you find out you're expecting a new bundle, the first question that comes up in your mind is "Will it be a boy or a girl?"

And while you might love whichever it might be, you always have your preference.

Like all expecting parents, we've been waiting at the edge of our seats... And at the end of this month we'll have our answer.

I'm willing to admit, I want a boy. It'll be my husband's first and I think boys are way (waaaayyyy) easier than girls. We had an ultrasound about two weeks ago, but it was too early to have a definitive answer. Both the doc and the technician said it looked like a boy but it was too soon. We're not going out and buying blue yet, but our fingers are crossed. All signs are pointing to boy, which is why I think it's going to be girl (just to mess with our heads).

If we have a girl, we'll be just as thrilled. I've already warned my husband that she would only wear frilly fluffy dresses and I'd insist on taping bows to her head. She'd be a little spoiled princess, but not too spoiled cause we've seen the damage that does.

Admittedly, I'm a little weirded out because both my dad and my sister want to be there for the ultrasound. I'm not entirely a private person but this just seems a little too open for me. Apparently I'm the only one with this issue though, and I know how bad each of them want to be there... My dad never got to see an ultrasound...

Besides all that excitement and betting, my love finished his triathlon!!!! We are so proud of him!! They said that first years almost never complete the whole thing, especially without any previous multi event experience and he did it!!!! Yay-Hoo for him!!!

We're going to go see New Moon this weekend, which should be so much fun. I totally hate admitting I enjoyed the books (except this one, bleh) and that I'm looking forward to the movie almost as much as my step-girl is. We were supposed to make a huge girl's night of it, with my step bringing her bestest, but due to all the issues it just didn't work out. I'll have to think of some other fun way to make up for it. Maybe a spa day for the four of us? Like mani pedis for my step, her bestest, my bestest and me.... hmmm?

I'm starting to show now and not look like I'm bloated. I get a lot more people asking me now... I love finding new ways to make them feel uncomfortable for asking. I know it's a little mean, but it's so fun seeing the expressions on their faces when they think they made a mistake and inadvertently called me fat...

I'm still massively craving pizza, food made by the gods!! But I can no longer eat any sweets, which sucks cause I have a horrible sweet tooth.

I'm finally mellowing out (kind of). We've had a few too many surprises and issues these past couple of weeks and it's nice not to worry as much. It's nice to look forward to the holidays, this being our first Thanksgiving at our house, and we're looking forward to just being with family more than anything.

I'm sleeping through the night and the messed up dreams aren't waking me up with stress riding in every muscle (sucks). I can eat without wanting to spew. All the pieces are falling into place very nicely.... At least for now... Until someone drops a new puzzle in our laps....

Bleeding Heart

I have been having one of those weeks from hell.

One of those weeks where you'd swear that it's been a month and it's only been 7 days.

Seriously stressing over things that should have never been an issue.

Stressing over people causing more issues just because they're still dissatisfied with their lives.

I won't go into detail, but I will say...

"You have everything you've ever bitched about wanting, go enjoy it"

There might have been some peace and maybe even a small fraction of resolution made last night, but only time ever tells that. I hate that by marrying the man of my dreams I got to become two very angry people's punching bags. I just want to be left alone to love my family. I understand people have their judgements about me. I understand I'm not the prettiest or the smartest, but I don't need it shoved down my throat.

Sorry, a little bit of bitter snuck out on me...

I'm finally calming down a bit today, and trying to de-stress, but then I get hit with a whopper (and cause I'm preggers, it's way bigger than it needs to be)...

This guy comes in to my office today. He starts by telling his life history. He tells me that he divorced his wife when his oldest of five kids was ten. He tells me that since he met his second wife, his ex has done everything she could to poison his kids against him. He tells me that his ex would tell the kids he moved, never sent any presents or acknowledgements or never wrote (he claims, none of which were true). He says that his wife knew all her children's insecurities and used them against him. Only his youngest ever kept in touch with him and still treated him nicely. He continues by saying that he hasn't spoken to her in over a year but wasn't overly concerned. His youngest is now 35 with her own family. He decided to try to reconnect with her by searching Google for any profile pages on Facebook or myspace.

He pulled up her obituary.

She had passed right around the time he last heard from her.

His ex never called him nor any of his other 4 kids.

None of his kids will speak to him, thinking he is the most horrible piece of trash for not even showing for his own daughter's funeral... And little do they know.

My heart goes out this guy. I don't know him and for all I knew he could be the piece of crap his ex claims he is. But it hit home for me. It just scares me that there's people out there willing to do this kind of thing.

During all of our struggles with the step-kids, any misstep or wrong move could lead us down this path. We can only hope that this never happens and that his daughter knows he loves her and would never turn his back on her. I mean, if he still loves his oldest after everything she's done and claimed, then the possibilities are endless for the youngest.

Regrets

People should regret hurting others, especially maliciously. Certain people should grow up and get over the lies they've told themselves. Those certain people should do all they could to make amends before it's too late... It will be too late someday.

As an example:
Dear Prudence,When I was 14, I severed ties with my dad. I was a messed-up teenager, living with my certifiably nutty mother and visiting my dad on weekends. When he remarried and had another baby with my stepmom, I was furious. I treated them badly, cursed at them, hollered at them, stole from them, and went so far as to try to hurt my stepmom and new baby brother. I treated my stepmom like dirt, even though she was never mean. After I stopped answering my dad's calls and threatened to report him to the cops as a stalker, he stopped trying to get in touch with me. I can see now that he and my stepmom were good people who wanted only the best for me. Now that I am 27, I am trying to get back in touch with my dad, because I'm getting married. However, he will not respond to mail, e-mail, or Facebook messages. I've asked my uncle and cousins to tell him that I want to see him. They told me that he was too hurt by my behavior and has no desire to get in touch. Am I wrong to try to re-enter his life? Should I just leave him alone?

Pandemonium

These past couple of weeks have been so busy. I have never been so glad I took a day off of work. We've been shopping & decorating & cleaning & moving & celebrating & & &....

First things first, my baby bug is officially seven! He's strutting around the house, standing taller, all proud he's survived these past years. First thing out of his mouth that morning was "Where's my presents?" Och...

Does he look older? I swear he's grown three inches...

To commemorate this special occasion celebrating his newfound manhood, he lost his first tooth! It's been loose for about a month now and I am so relieved it finally fell out!

Halloween was fun. There was basically no one giving out candy in our neighbordhood but we bought enough candy to choke a small cow, so the kids weren't overly depressed about it. Next year I am so draggin the kids back to the area we went last year. The kids ended up with so much candy that all of our jobs told us to stop bringing it in!

The kids were so cute in their costumes! My step-girl won 3rd place in her school's costume contest (cause she rocks!) we were so excited for her!

This weekend was exciting for me because I got to see my grandpa & grandma whom I haven't spoken to in over 6 years. My family doesn't really like each other so it was nice to have a pleasant sit down reunion dinner. No name calling, no dishes being thrown. It was definitely weird for me...

I am going into my 14th week of the pregnancy. Now that all the drama of the past three months is over, it's all pretty boring (which is sooooo nice). We're soon going to beg the doc to let us see the sex of the baby but i don't know if he will. He's the coolest doctor but he's stubborn. We're hoping for a boy, so fingers and toes crossed. I have a slight bump but it jut looks like I'm bloated. My cravings for pizza are out of control! But I'm also eating pickles by the jarful, chococlate pudding & drinking apple juice. But they have to be all together or it's gross.... And then there's turkey sandwhiches with mustard! Yummy!!! Or grilled hot dogs... with mustard!!! I totally have to stop writing about food or I"m going to go nuts. Or maybe I already am?

The baby has started to kick, but it's very slight and only very rare. My husband hasn't been able to feel it yet but I'm sure he will soon. Last night we felt the baby's heartbeat. That was different. It was so sturdy and completely different from my own.
My husband's triathalon is this weekend so he's been training his buns off. He's pretty confident that he'll finish in a good time and just excited to be able to try. Hopefully things will slow down after this weekend, cause I am tired!