PPD and Muffel-Toe

I feel so much better after getting that crud off my chest about my OSD. I just needed to get it out of my head so it'd stop rotating around... And I did.

I think I have Post Partum Depression (PPD)....

I'm uber crabby, I never want to do anything, I'm always snapping at my love (even when I don't want to), I am eternally exhausted...

I'm making myself crazy (crazier). I think the only reason I'm slightly better than I was when I was pregnant is because I'm not carrying an extra 35 pounds.

I adore my Chunko and I love being around my family. I look forward to going to work and being around people. It's just that every now and then I suddenly get depressed and think that I'm worthless or that I'm too lazy and that I should just give up and go back to bed. I'm working through it but I have a dark mood for an hour or two everyday.

I can officially pull my pants over my butt and kind of button them! But.... I have muffel-toe when I do. You know, Muffin Top meets Camel Toe.

My engagement ring almost fits on my finger. I can put it on, but it's a wee bit too tight for comfort. Almost there. My wedding ring is just too small. I can't even get it to my knuckle. I wear it on my pinkie right now because I miss having it on.

I started the 30 day shred. It's a 20 minute workout. I did 5 minutes and spent the last 15 in a ball on the floor, crying taking it easy. I've decided to take a two week long break before getting into it again. I don't want to hear it! I know I shouldn't but I am....
 

 My step-girl adores her baby brother... I am so glad that all of our worries about her feeling replaced or neglected were unfounded. Thank goodness!

We went to the pool this weekend. It was Chunko's first time and he had so much fun. At first he just floated around with Daddy with a very confused expression. When he realized it was just a very big bathtub he let loose with the splashing.

Ham-Da had her bff over for the weekend and I think (hope) they had fun. I remember how fun it was not to be at home or having a friend spend the night so I could show her all the cool stuff I did.

We let her push the limits with staying up late, eating junk food and drinking my Pepsi. All in all, it seemed like a good time all around. Her bff seems nice. She talks to us but is still a little shy. I'm a little wary at times from what I've overheard from her... like her talking of having a little more experience with boys than I would like to know. Most of which I think is exaggerated bluff, but if she tells Ham-Da this, then she feels the need to "keep up" and then she lies or does something dumb.

Eeek... I remember what my friends were doing in middle school, and in no way am I okay with thinking she's doing anything near all that. I know she's smart and isn't interested in all the craziness (yet) but with an older sister who got pregnant so young, it's a very real concern for us.

Enough of that.... I have to go back to school shopping tonight. I don't wanna (another reason why I think I have PPD, I mean it's shopping!) so I;m going to throw a temper tantrum and spend way too much money on uber cool gadgets that I wish I had had at 7.
Tomorrow is Geekers Open House at a new school location so this should be interesting. I hear it's bigger and more room to expand so I'm looking forward to it....

We have my younger sister's wedding on Friday. A nice casual outside wedding. I love those intimate moments where it's almost like a private ceremony and a secret. I get to photograph this one but thankfully I'm not going to be in the wedding party this time. Although my love did an amazing job with little knowledge of my camera, I still want to be the one shooting.