OSD - I'm Sorry

I know that I said I don't talk about my OSD, but it's been really bugging me lately and I need to get it out of my head...


I absolutely hate that I never got to sit down and talk with her, that I was never given a chance to make this work. It's been three years and at this point, it's just ridiculous. We both sound like paranoid freaks, accusing the other of stalking or of hacking. We've both done some stupid and childish things. We've both said hurtful things.

Why nitpick and point fingers when it's gone this far?

I have to say for the millionth time... I wrote that stupid MySpace blog asking for help. I had no clue that you looked at my page, or even knew about it. If I had known, I would have written you directly. I did not hack any website and steal your wedding picture. It was on several public sites and I copied it (I admit that).

That comment {you know about the chucci being dead (or gone) and being happy for 30 days} was about my stupid cat. I have no ill will towards your mom, I had ill will towards that cat.

My YDSD adores her mom and so I respect that relationship and wish it no harm. I adore my YDSD as if she were my own but I would never intentionally tread on her relationship with her mom or try to "replace" her.

The majority of this could have been avoided if I had ever been asked directly. I would have answered where I found the pictures and apologized for the confusion of my writings. I wish I had been the chance to explain what had been misconstrued.

I have tried, repeatedly, to work this out and I have been ignored and slapped at.

I have been called horrible names and accused of being a despicable person. I'm sorry to have that thought of me and I wish I was given the chance to amend that.

As I take a step back and look at this, I see how silly it all is and I just want to have a good laugh and move on....

But....

How can you just move on when it's all in such disrepair still? I want to move on, I know I need to, but I can't seem to leave it all "broken" like it is.

I think that's worse. I know I can't fix it. I've tried to fix it, but I can't.

And yet, here I am.

How do you get a person that despises and hates you to talk to you?