Sometimes I wonder why I even bother pretending that I am smarter than the 2 year old. I swear we should just quit our day jobs and dedicate our lives to fulfilling every single nutty demand Chunko can dream of. Just when I think we've managed to out maneuver him, he goes sprinting past us, laughing, to destroy our well thought out plans. We need to buy jester hats to complete our new persona.
Okay, so maybe I'm being a smidgen over-dramatic... likemaybethismuch
Chunko thought it was so great to take my car keys, unlock the doors and climb in the driver's seat. He would shut the door and give me a kiss goodbye. He learned how to turn the key so the battery would come on and he could listen to his jams. I thought it was super cute. Then he started my car and locked me out! Thankfully, he was more interested in the radio than the gear shift. Then I realized that with his height and new found skills, my 2 year old could probably steal my car! Needless to say, he's not allowed to touch my car keys anymore.
I know that I am incredibly lenient towards him but I find myself questioning every parental choice I've made. I had a firm set of parent guidelines that I believed in and chose to follow. I will spank my kids and smack their hands. I yell when I am mad and I use timeouts. I use more emotional and psychological tactics with my oldest because he psyches himself out more than I ever could spanking him.
I feel that lately, that isn't enough. Actually, I feel more that it's good for my oldest but that it's not right for Chunko. It's not the best way to approach our bull child. I spank him, he spanks my nephew. I take the toy from him and he takes a toy from my niece. I throw a snack pack for my husband (not at him, but for him) and Chunko thinks it's okay to throw everything across the room.
I am becoming frustrated with our lack of control of the situations and Chunko... We're trying to find our footing and I can't help but to feel unprepared.
We're finally, finally, finally getting into a great rhythm of getting him to go to sleep and stay asleep. We've had a month of only one wake up per night and we've had a week of no wake ups. We still have battles over when it's time for bed and if we don't read ALL of the right bedtime stories, then we get screaming nightmare child. Thankfully our nighttime battles rarely take longer than an hour and then he's down for the count. It's almost as if he hadn't used up all his energy for the day and had to expel it somehow.
Most restaurants have banned us from coming back. Even fast food ones. Okay, not really but we've personally banned eating out for a bit. If it doesn't have a play place, we smile sadly as we drive by. Chunko doesn't fit in highchairs anymore so we can't buckle him in with any hope of keeping him still.
Admittedly we realized that we have been smacking Chunko more often than not and we decided to try other forms of discipline...Some nights it ends up looking like a poor version of The Three Stooges. Chunko throws his lego at the TV, I smack Chunko, Chunko smacks me back, I smack Chunko, he smacks me back, I smack Chunko, he smacks his brother, his brother smacks him back and his dad smacks Chunko.... On and on until someone gets their eye poked out.
I was at the end of my rope on Friday and so instead of smacking him, I put him in the corner for a timeout. He walked out of the corner and laughed at me. I put him back into the corner and he kicks the wall and walks away. Rinse and repeat for 10 minutes. I get his chair and put him in the chair in the corner. He pushes the chair back and walks away. I pick him up and put him back in his chair. He gets up and walks away. Rinse and repeat for five minutes. I storm out to the garage, grab a bungee cord and bind him to the chair in the corner. He giggles and gets up and walks away. End scene with me saying that 20 minutes of fighting over him being in the corner counts as a timeout... It does, right?
Chunko goes and brings his chair to his sister, makes her sit down in it and straps her to the chair. Then he pushes her over to the corner and makes her sit in timeout.Then he does the same with Brother. That means he gets the point but not the idea. Or that he gets both but he knows who wears the pants in our family (actually he doesn't wear pants at all but not my point).
We're still trying to find the right balance between having a toddler that we have to warn people about before they come over and "accidentally" feeding my kid to the tigers at the Mirage (Those tigers are still there, right? They have dolphins, too, right? Those will work).
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