Where Are The Kids?

Reasons why I should not be left alone with the kids for too long:

1. I locked them outside, naked, with the hose on
2. I "made" dinner by pulling out all the leftovers from our fridge... So they had chicken nuggets, tater tots, sticky rice, leftover pizza and peaches
3. Chunko's still naked, has peed on our floor twice (once near his potty!!) and has a blossoming black eye
4. Chunko spilled out everything from our lower cabinets and smeared chewed up cookies on it all.
5. Chunko sat on his bruthy's lap and ate his dinner after he claimed he was done with his
6. Chunko played in the toilet and Fart Bone let him (I think he even encouraged him)
7. I currently have baby teeth and nail marks all up and done my legs because he liked the way I screamed when he clawed me
8. Our neighbors stopped by to check on me, worried from all the screaming but they don't speak English and I don't speak Spanish so it was a lot of nodding
9. Chunko flooded our kitchen after his sink bath
10. Chunko baby texted a few of my phone contacts. If he sent you one, I'm sorry, I swear I haven't been drinking

I've only been alone with them for 2 hours... TWO HOURS!!!
I'm so scared of my kids

I'm going to go try to put pants on the baby... Anyone want to call the Marines to help me????