Not Gonna Do It!

Thursday night my love and I did the whole hospital tour. I know it's a little early but we wanted enough time to research a new hospital if we didn't like this one.

So I call and since my memory has completely vanished I made sure to write down every little detail the woman told me. Phone numbers, times, dates, locations.... everything.

We get in the car to head on our way and I realize I left my perfect detailed memo at work.

Not going to panic yet.

I remember the address, I think.

We leave and timed the distance. Thirty minutes. Okay, not so bad.

We get there and the building is pretty much dark, but we found an open door. We also found another couple (so we must be in the right place, right?). She thinks it was the fourth floor, we go up, not there. We call the hospital, they have no idea what we're talking about. Oh that's just great!

We travel the halls, find a conference room... and another preggo couple!

The conference room is dark but there's food, we have to be in the right place. We sit, we wait. And wait, and wait. More couples arrive and now our numbers have grown to 16. Still no teacher.

I'm bored so I start messing with my purse, and out I pull my perfect detailed directions! Didn't leave it at work, just forgot where I put it. We're in the right place but now it's 15 minutes past when class started.

My love jogs over to the main building hoping to find some answers. We have a lot of not-so-happy preggos, and they're getting antsy. In the meantime we're calling a bunch of random numbers trying to find out what's going on.

Nada, zip.

My love, calls, it's in the main building, we're in the wrong place, and the tour has alreadybegun. Um, no, stupid people...

We gather the 15 people, shove them into an elevator (yeah, that was fun, there is a weight limit people!) and head on over.

Finally we're able to start the actual tour (thirty mins late!)

We walk into an actual labor/ delivery room and this is what we see:

Oh hell no!

Does that look comfy to you?

I'm over it, I'm not doing it!

I'm not having a c-section, no epidurals and sure as hell no vaginal deliveries!

The baby can stay right where he is forever cause I am not climbing into that torture device!
My love thinks I'm crazy and that I'll get over it, but I don't think he understands how stubborn I can be!

Besides, there's a 40 inch flat screen, so at least he'll be comfy... like it matters!!

On the plus side, I was the smallest one in the class! Some were way almost due but there were a couple in my due date range, so it was kind of uplifting...

Okay, so the baby's kicking the crud out of my belly button, I guess it's time to eat....

Nom, nom, nom