I don't even know how to start.
I have been obsessing over my weight for so long, it's odd to realize that at some point I just suddenly stopped.
At one point I had to restrict how often I was weighing myself because I was that obsessed with the numbers. I was counting calories and with every bite I took I was thinking "This is going to make you fat."
Then it slowly died down. I had hit about 165-170lbs. It wasn't where I wanted to be but it was better than 200lbs. I wanted 150 but just couldn't seem to get there.
I started taking Zumba once a week and making myself do more around the house. Instead of coming home from work and plopping on the couch, it was time to clean the garage. Instead of flipping on the TV, it was time to play outside with the boys.
It has been a very difficult road and I know it's been hard on everyone and not just me.
Today I am proud to say that not only am I at 153 (or 158 on my higher days) but that I am now in between sizes 10/ 11 clothes! When I had my wisdom teeth pulled I got down to 143lbs and I loved it, not going to lie, but I was so weak that it was pointless for me to allow myself to stay that small.
Two years ago, when I gave birth, I was about 210lbs. During that time I never once thought that I would ever go back to my pre-pregnancy weight or size. I thought that I would be one of those women who just gain a little bit more after having a baby. I was okay with it, not happy, but okay.
Now, I not only weigh less than when I started but I also wear a smaller clothing size. I actually bought a medium shirt!!!! I haven't been able to wear a medium shirt since I was anorexic. And I bought new work pants... and they are size 10! Whoop Whoop!!!
My rings fit perfectly and better than they did before I got pregnant. I feel so energized. I am slowly getting back my energy but that has more to do with lack of sleep than lack of eating right. (Which is also so much better now).
I can't even complain about my mommy pouch anymore. I still have a mild overhang but with each month that passes, it gets smaller.
My stretch marks have gone from "Hideous Car Accident meets Tiger Attack" to "Normal Stretch Marks that blend in." Those will be forever. I'm not trying to get rid of them anyways. I've had some stretch marks since I was 14 or 15, so I know they aren't magically disappearing. I went through the small phase of trying all those miracle creams to reduce them but the only thing that helps is time.
Currently I am eating healthier simply because I like to. I don't obsess over carbs or calories. I go to Zumba purely for fun. I haven't used my Wii as much but we're debating on keeping or upgrading it so we'll see. I walk a lot and I play with my boys so much more than I did before.
I also took the time to think and accept that when I had my oldest I allowed myself to get sick, not skinny. I saw some old shirts I used to wear (you know, the ones too small for my bony 9 year old to wear... Eep) and I saw some old pictures and I fought to not do that to myself again.
This weight loss battle has been the shits, to be honest, but I feel that I can now safely claim that I have conquered it and I have won.
Yay me!!
I have been obsessing over my weight for so long, it's odd to realize that at some point I just suddenly stopped.
At one point I had to restrict how often I was weighing myself because I was that obsessed with the numbers. I was counting calories and with every bite I took I was thinking "This is going to make you fat."
Then it slowly died down. I had hit about 165-170lbs. It wasn't where I wanted to be but it was better than 200lbs. I wanted 150 but just couldn't seem to get there.
I started taking Zumba once a week and making myself do more around the house. Instead of coming home from work and plopping on the couch, it was time to clean the garage. Instead of flipping on the TV, it was time to play outside with the boys.
It has been a very difficult road and I know it's been hard on everyone and not just me.
Today I am proud to say that not only am I at 153 (or 158 on my higher days) but that I am now in between sizes 10/ 11 clothes! When I had my wisdom teeth pulled I got down to 143lbs and I loved it, not going to lie, but I was so weak that it was pointless for me to allow myself to stay that small.
Two years ago, when I gave birth, I was about 210lbs. During that time I never once thought that I would ever go back to my pre-pregnancy weight or size. I thought that I would be one of those women who just gain a little bit more after having a baby. I was okay with it, not happy, but okay.
Now, I not only weigh less than when I started but I also wear a smaller clothing size. I actually bought a medium shirt!!!! I haven't been able to wear a medium shirt since I was anorexic. And I bought new work pants... and they are size 10! Whoop Whoop!!!
My rings fit perfectly and better than they did before I got pregnant. I feel so energized. I am slowly getting back my energy but that has more to do with lack of sleep than lack of eating right. (Which is also so much better now).
I can't even complain about my mommy pouch anymore. I still have a mild overhang but with each month that passes, it gets smaller.
My stretch marks have gone from "Hideous Car Accident meets Tiger Attack" to "Normal Stretch Marks that blend in." Those will be forever. I'm not trying to get rid of them anyways. I've had some stretch marks since I was 14 or 15, so I know they aren't magically disappearing. I went through the small phase of trying all those miracle creams to reduce them but the only thing that helps is time.
Currently I am eating healthier simply because I like to. I don't obsess over carbs or calories. I go to Zumba purely for fun. I haven't used my Wii as much but we're debating on keeping or upgrading it so we'll see. I walk a lot and I play with my boys so much more than I did before.
I also took the time to think and accept that when I had my oldest I allowed myself to get sick, not skinny. I saw some old shirts I used to wear (you know, the ones too small for my bony 9 year old to wear... Eep) and I saw some old pictures and I fought to not do that to myself again.
This weight loss battle has been the shits, to be honest, but I feel that I can now safely claim that I have conquered it and I have won.
Yay me!!
From 185 to 165 to 153!!
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